Core Symptoms of Codependence

From Facing Codependence, by Pia Melody

Five core symptoms of powerlessness

1. Self-Esteem
Experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem ~ Let God love you.
2. Boundaries
Establishing boundaries in their dealings with others ~ Let God protect you.
3. Reality
Understanding and owning the reality of their body, thoughts, feelings, desires, spirituality and personal identity. ~ Ask God to direct your thinking.
4. Nees and Wants
Acknowledging and taking responsibility for adult wants and needs ~ Ask God for help.
5. Moderation
Experiencing and expressing their reality moderately ~ Ask God to help you find your wise mind.

Five core consequences of unmanageability

1. Negative Control
When you tell a person what he or she should look like (body), what meaning he or she is to give incoming data (thinking), what emotions he or she should be having (feeling) or what he or she should do or not do (behavior).
2. Resentment
From the perception that someone has committed an injurious act against you, obsessively thinking about what happened, and then focusing on ways to get even or get revenge.
3. Distorted or non-existent spirituality
4. Avoiding Reality
Addictions, Physical Illness, Mental Illness
5. Impaired Intimacy
Difficulty in relationships with others (and with ourselves and God)

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Books by Pia Mellody
Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody
Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love by Pia Mellody
Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller
The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love by Pia Mellody


Codependence : The 5 Core Symptoms
The Intimacy Factor : The Boundaries of Love

The Therapeutic Genius of Pia Mellody

Honesty and Accountability in Relationships